So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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