My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
