We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
