ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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