Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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