Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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