it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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