Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
