What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
