Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
operation have a gay friend backfired
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
