Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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