Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
