Betty ford says i'm here all night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
