dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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