At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
