remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
