Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
