do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
did i walk over a car last night?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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