Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
