thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
