What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
