Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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