He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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