Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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