My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
