i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
