i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
