I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
