For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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