i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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