She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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