That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
