I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
