he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
