is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
