So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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