I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
