Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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