so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There r osticjed everywhere
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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