we made out on top of his cat.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Maybe he injected his testicle?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
