just survived the first fart of the relationship.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
