just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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