Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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