The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
