It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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