Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
