Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
