you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
