thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
