also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
